iPhoning It In

March 31st, 2010 8:48 PM -05

My cellular telephone of choice is rotten.  To the core.

My iPhone wouldn’t keep a charge this weekend, so I honored the Sabbath at the Apple altar.  The Genius Bartender scrapped my OS and sent me home with instructions on restoring as a new device.  Didn’t work.

So I returned Monday night.  Much to my astonishment, the Geniuses were stumped.   I smirked as they debated what could be wrong.  Water damage?  No.  Rogue app?  Possible but not probable.  Bad battery?  It would shut down not bypass standby.  They concluded it was the phone itself.  They recommended replacing it but generously offered to run an $80 diagnostic test before showing me a $199 or $299 3GS.  I opted to skip that exerci$e in futility.  Convinced iPhone Uno had died, I bought a pimped out 32GB Black iPhone Dos.

Much to my chagrin, Dos has the same issues as Uno.   Yeah, it looks like purchasing Dos was unnecessario.

I  know I should take the new one back, but I can’t.   I just can’t let all those gigabytes go.   I WON’T TAKE IT BACK!  I want Voice Control!  I need Voice Control!  To enable my lavish purchase lessen the blow, my haxor hubs plans to unlock iPhone Uno, so I can profit off my loss.

In the meantime, I’m going to keep troubleshooting.   I’ve stopped push notifications, disabled 3G and uninstalled all apps .  I have high Apple pie in the sky hopes for this latest iTunes update. (KOW!)

If it doesn’t work, it’ll be awhile before my next update.   My pear ass will be camped at the Apple Store.

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