I Hear the Secrets That You Keep…

February 25th, 2010 12:05 AM -05

I turned to my trusty life partner and asked him to suggest a stellar blog topic.  He said “Okay…” and then fell into his nightly couch coma.

So Dan’s best sleep habits it is!

Every now and then, Dan sleep talks.  I could wish for unconscious confessions of deep dark secrets, but he delivers so much more.  The beauty lies in the total randomness of his outbursts.  Sometimes he assertively communicates well thought out statements.  Other times it’s babble, glorious non sequitur.  Here’s a small sampling:

“This is an easy problem to fix. All you’ve got to do is…(mumble mumble snooze)”
“Switch clothes dryer”

And my recent favorite…  “FUCK SARAH PALIN!”  I was watching the Opening Ceremonies when that happened.  Maybe he was feeling the pain of the Russians she snoops on every morning.

I wish I could remember everything he’s said over the past few years.  I’m seriously considering taking this to Twitter.  I’d just need a user name…

What would you pick:

a.  @shitmyhubssleepsays
b.  @sleeptalkinman
c.  @dansayzzz
d.  @holmosaywhat
e.  Something better like (your suggestion here)

Update:  within minutes of scheduling this entry, Dan shot up and muttered “How do I get up?  You told me you’d help me get up…”  When he talked enough to wake himself up, he realized I was talking back (as I often do for my own S&Gs). He then jokingly called me a fucker and returned to dreamland.  Good stuff.

6 Responses to “I Hear the Secrets That You Keep…”

  1. Season says:

    We cannot forget him terrifying JH in Tokyo. I believe he exclaimed “I knew it!” & proceeded to rough up the chair.

  2. Dan says:

    Oh, see, when you told me the next morning about my Sarah Palin outburst, I had interpreted it as being vulgarly dismissive of Sarah Palin as a serious and credible political presence. Seeing it in writing with a comma after the ‘fuck’, however, implies terror or doom, like that feeling when we were watching the Iowa primary results in 2008 and Mike Huckabee won. You know, that “how… this.. I don’t.. what?” feeling of being completely out of touch with the world around me. That single comma gives me so much more insight into my subconscious.

  3. tara says:

    You can sleep talk sound, hun. That was a grammatical error on my part. For the record, you did, in fact, shout “FUCK SARAH PALIN” in a protest chantish manner 🙂

  4. Dan says:

    Business as usual, then. At least until the 2012 primaries.

  5. carole says:


    i like d. holmosaywhat…but you should add a ? to make it “holmosaywhat?” it adds inflection and dimension. much like the significant placement of a comma. 🙂

  6. Nycole says:

    This. Is. Awesome. Brady should do something HALF so amusing when he falls into his nightly couch coma! Usually he just takes up all the space and forces me onto the other couch, which is not near as amusing and/or blog-worthy.

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