Category: Whine With My Cheeze

Be Careful What You Wish For…

Thursday, May 22nd, 2014

After some serious overeating the other night, I stood in the shower thinking “I feel like crap.  I hate feeling like this.  I need to purge my system and cut the junk from my diet.  I need a juice fast!”

But the cosmos had a different idea…

Stomach flu.

Em’s gastric ailment claimed its next victim Tuesday.  I awoke with a headache and nausea.  I figured I’d just ride it out.   Within minutes of Dan leaving for work, it all went downhill FAST.   It was a rough morning with kiddo jumping on my stomach wanting me to play.   Had Dan not been able to come home at 3:30, I would’ve been in big trouble.

I couldn’t rest at all with every muscle trembling.  Thankfully, my mom brought me some anti-misery medication a couple of hours later.   Within 15 minutes of taking the anti-nausea pill, I could rest comfortably.   We’re talking epidural-tastic.   I soon fell into a sweet, sweet coma, waking every now and then as I heard Em running about or shouting.    I slept like this between 6:30pm and 6:45am, the longest sleep I’ve had since Em arrived!

Dan worked from home Wednesday, which was beyond helpful considering I could barely stay awake.  By the time Em’s nap ended, I was feeling so much better.  I even tried some chicken broth with rice for dinner.

Yeah, bad move on my part.  REALLY bad.

I awoke this morning feeling great, so I ate a piece of toast and sipped on Pedialyte aka Bad Move: Part Deux.

At this point, the illness continues even though I have nothing in my system.   I’m crossing my fingers it’s now eating my fat reserves.

I would very much appreciate that.

Give. Me. Drugs.

Wednesday, May 7th, 2014

Kiddo developed plague last week… I had a sinking feeling I’d catch it.

When I awoke on Sunday morning, plague had dropped its baggage at my door and made itself comfy.   Come Monday, I was miserable.   By Tuesday, I daydreamed of a medically induced coma when the doctor’s office told me they were booked within 10 minutes of opening.  I was exhausted by constant coughing resulted in throwing up every meal and getting zero sleep.

Last night was spent hacking on our couch until the wee hours of the night.  I watched three episodes of a crap show called “Flip or Flop” before finally conking out for a couple of hours.   When Em awoke pre-dawn, I went back upstairs to sleep and Dan went into regular  Super Dad mode.  He awesomely worked from home, so I could go to my 10:00 appointment sans toddler in tow.

My replacement allergist is younger than me with a real laid back personality, reminding me of Tom Haverford from “Parks and Recreation.” I had a fever and couldn’t stop coughing (into my arm), so he repeatedly stepped backward and slathered himself in Purell.  I couldn’t blame him.  I would be a most crappy doctor with my aversion to contagious people.

He flipped through my online chart, noting I was sick at the exact same time last year.  He kindly gave me a Delsym sample, submitted prescriptions for steroids, antibiotics, inhalers and a nose spray and sent me on my way.   I requested a shot, but he told me to down the first three doses of the steroid pack instead.   When I texted Dan about not getting that much-wanted shot, he wrote back “Emme will be so disappointed.”  She’s kinda obsessed with shots these days.  But not for real real, only play play…. the “pahtend” kind.  We’re certain she’d lose her shiz if given a real shot.

Within 2 hours of taking my medicine, I started feeling human-like.

Thank you, Dr. Tom Haverford.  You’re no Dr. Taylor Swift, but you’ll do nicely.

I Will Conquer You

Friday, April 11th, 2014

Plague has besieged me.   Coughing, sneezing, stuffy head funsies.

I was supposed to travel to College Station with one friend to help our mutual friend prepare for her baby arriving in May.  I was really looking forward to it.  Sorting newborn necessities, shopping for last-minute items…organizing, organizing, organizing!  It’s the stuff Virgo dreams are made of.   Plus, the idea of working on a boy nursery is exciting. While I’d be a crap boy mom, I love buying things for the slugs, snails and puppy dog tails set.

I didn’t want to risk getting anyone sick, so we’re postponing until next week.   Instead, I forced myself to grocery shop tonight in case plague’s grip tightens (translation: my asthma kicks in and I’m totally useless.)   I stocked up on all plague provisions:


Monday, April 7th, 2014

I’ve decided to own my seafood scorn.*

I have a history of seafood aversion.  Back in June 2010, I discovered I’d outgrown a childhood shellfish allergy.  I did this via food challenge, whereby I was forced to eat boiled shrimp over a period of hours at my allergist’s office.  I cannot tell you how many times I came close to tossing my crustaceans.  I’ve not had shrimp since that challenge, and have no desire to ever consume it.  The smell, the texture – you name it, it all repulses me.

Over the years, I’ve tried to embrace the equally popular salmon.   I’ve Bubba Gumpishly had it baked, steamed, blackened and grilled in sushi, salads and stir fry.  Regardless of the cooking method, temperature or seasoning, it’s so…fishy.  Tonight’s Fresh20 dinner, Citrus-Ginger Salmon, pushed me over the edge.  I barely downed half before gagging.  I decided enough was enough.  I know I dislike salmon, so why do I insist on trying to embrace it?  Life’s too short.

But that doesn’t mean I’ll stop cooking it.  Dan enjoys it and Em’s had a few bites here and there.  On the nights that salmon is on the menu, I’ll just double up on the vegetables.  It’s like how I add pre-cooked shrimp to Dan’s jambalaya but omit it from my portion.

And when it’s time to cook up kiddo numero two, I will revisit my nightly cocktail.   Yeah, the thought of downing that stuff again makes me realize I should make myself a real cocktail.

Flaming Mr. Fish, anyone?

* This scorn does not extend to tuna salad or fried cod/haddock, which I find super tasty when slathered in tartar sauce.


What Planet is Retrograde Exactly?

Sunday, April 28th, 2013

These past few days have been a funky mixture of  UGHs and YAYs!

Last week was crazy with clients needing immediate attention and rush service.  I logged a lot of hours, which is great for my paycheck, but made for several late nights.

Then, there was my nasty hangnail infection.  While working away Thursday night, I noticed my arm was tingling and my pinky finger was swollen in a most uncomfortable way.  Worried about the infection spreading, I went to a local emergency care center.  I’d taken Dan there before, and was impressed at their speed and thoroughness.  I got there around 10:45pm and was home by 12:30am.

I felt like a moron being there when there was a guy presenting with heart attack symptoms, a 5 year old with a broken arm and a screaming baby who couldn’t be comforted.  The doctor who explored and irrigated my blissfully numbed finger was really nice, and would say things like “You were smart to come now.  This could’ve gotten bad.”  While waiting during various points, I used their WiFi to send Dan status updates on my iPad.

Why lug an iPad to an ER?  Because I had dropped my iPhone in the (unused) toilet earlier that day.  It was a hot mess and couldn’t have happened at a worse time.  Luckily, a quick trip the next morning to AT&T for a free SIM card replacement seemed to fix the issue. (KOW!)

On the positive side though, Dan had already taken Thursday and Friday off.  It was perfect timing as I would’ve had a hell of a time caring for Emme alone with my bandaged, super-sensitive finger.  He took Em to art class, an experience I’m glad he got to have as our little girl is quite the spectacle at her classes.  I just know she’s going to lead a mutiny one day.  I tell Dan he’s psychic.  Last time he took off 2 days, Em and I got sick and him being there was a godsend.

On Saturday, I felt like ass.  The weather was exacerbating my allergies and asthma and my energy level was completely zapped following a morning grocery shopping trip.  I wanted to crawl in bed until Sunday, but I had too much to do.  Luckily, I was able to perk up as the day progressed and I spent my evening celebrating a good friend’s birthday with a great mix of ladies.

It’s been a crazy few days.  Anyway, I’m hoping this week is a return to normalcy.

Whatever that is.  🙂