After weeks of preparation, Saturday’s baby shower was flawless. Perfect. Went off without a hitch!
(Cue Wayne & Garth shyahing here)
My first baby shower co-hosting stint and our first shindig at the Manor was definitely a learning experience.
With just one, itty-bitty, teensie-weensie, micro-mini meltdown.
As I was merrily blowing up balloons two hours prior to the 3:00pm kickoff, a highly perturbed Dan announced that the Big Green Egg on which we were to cook burgers for our guests cracked all over the garage. My reaction? No biggie. There’s gotta be a solution! We’ll get a replacement part later. All that matters is that you’re not hurt. It’s just a grill! Lowe’s will have an emergency Weber Grill to the rescue.
Brokenhearted over Humpty Dumpty’s great fall, Hamburglar Husband decided to axe the burgers. I, oddly optimistic, saw a burger-free shower as unacceptable defeat. The invitation expressly stated burgers would be served. Absent a Cat 4 hurricane, terrorist act or mad cow recall, there had to be burgers! I went to the same law school as Star Jones, dammit.
With less than an hour and a half to go, we reached a stalemate. Having no food set out, no ice purchased, no shower taken and getting a bag news phone call, I said something like “We NEED that grill! I don’t have enough food! We promised them burgers! You HAVE to get the Weber!”
Dan took that as an order. Dan does not like orders. He’s not a fan of authoritay. He agreed to get the grill but expressed dissatisfaction over my perceived dictatorial delivery. Aaaand that’s when it happened…
The shower started early. Down my face. I don’t know who was surprised more: Dan or me. I was completely embarrassed and taken aback by the unexpected waterworks. There’s no crying in party prepping! It took my conciliatory husband seconds to graciously grab his keys and head Lowesward. Relief was in sight. I wiped away the tears, slapped on my mascara and went to work.
The last hour flew. Before I knew it, guests were arriving. That’s when I realized Dan’s pre-party ice run had been kiboshed by grill assembly. I hauled ass to the grocery store, where I impressed a checker with my 10-lb ice bag tossing skillz and scared fellow drivers with my demon speed. Minutes later, I was back in the kitchen icing down beers with the help of my awesome father-in-law and making my family’s super secret shower punch. Said father-in-law saw me mixing the 7-Up and Lime Sherbert. Crap, now I have to kill him. Crap, and you, too.
Once I saw drinks in hand, hors d’oeuvres to mouth, Momshteyn amongst friends and the Dadshteyn grillside, I was able to relax and enjoy our company. All the preptastrophe was ancient history. Big Green boohoo whut? I didn’t even care that I had cupcake frosting on my crotch and sherbert stains across my shirt. (Lesson # 32: Wear snazzy leopard apron when party prepping).
Then it was present time! I think I was more excited about the parents-to-be opening gifts than they were. Don’t get me wrong – I’m not to saying they weren’t excited. It’s more that I was überanxious to see the loot. Show me a BOO BOO BUNNIE! I can’t help myself. I’m pretty sure it’s an offshoot of being a Christmas whore.
As the last guests left at 7:30, Dan and I did a quick clean up, crashed on the couch and opened our host gifts. Remember how I lusted over the Uncommon Goods Soup and Samich Trays? Momshteyn bought us a set! Not to be all Hallmarky, but it was thanks enough to allow us to host the shower. The trays were pure icing on the cake. She also bought us a Mixology book. That’s the cherry atop our inevitable intervention.
Sunday brought many happy returns. Not knowing what I’d need, I overbought. My family party planning mantra is “it’s better to have too much than not enough.” At holiday meals, most people have a roast. We have a Honey Baked Ham, turkey, pot roast, fried chicken and all the side dishes that accompany each meat. If there isn’t enough for three leftover meals per person, it’s not enough food. This is how I ended up with 80 plastic utensil sets in 4 different colors when 50 guests were invited.
It’s also how we ended up with 18 extra exit gifts…