Category: Christmas Whoring

Little Miss Crafty

Saturday, November 27th, 2010

I sent the annual office “Deck the Walls” cubicle contest rules last week, having no clue what I’d do nor caring much about it.

I’d had a long week and the thought of investing any amount of time decorating the office was akin to producing endless TSP reports.  But, being that it’s my job to encourage participation, I had to do something.

I toyed with several ideas…

  • “Polar Opposites” with an igloo/South Pole theme? Eh, its construction would require too many architectural feats.
  • “Gnome for the Holidays” featuring garden scamps galore?  Eh, too time-consuming to make a wall full ‘o gnomes.
  • “Twas the Twilight Before Christmas?”  Ooh, Santa Cullen!  My all-female office would totally eat that up, but it, too, would be time-consuming.  Plus, those life-size cutouts cost a fortune!

This indecision was doing nothing for my office spirit ennui.   Hoping a trip to HobLob would motivate me, I started getting dressed.  Inspiration stuck as I reached into my t-shirt drawer and pulled out…

Eureka!  I’d recreate the Little Miss Christmas book cover:

A few hours and several Zots later, I completed my cubicle craftravaganza:

Oh. It’s You, Summer.

Monday, June 7th, 2010

It’s time I take a Pollyanna approach to summer, my least favorite season…

I’m glad for the amazing A/C blast that hits me when I walk into my office.

I’m glad for the huge honkin’ iced tea that makes lunchtime’s 15 minute round trip bearable when Felix’s A/C doesn’t kick in for 10 minutes.

I’m glad for an excuse to eat coconut milk ice cream and drink soy Frappucinos.

I’m glad for cheezy, poppy songs that keep me singing and bouncing. (As I sing “Cal-i-fornia girls we’re unforgettable…daisy dukes…bikinis on top”)

I’m glad that while I can’t fit into a bikini, I can save big bucks at outerwear clearance sales.

I’m glad for the start of hurricane season motivating me to call the tree euthanizer.

And, most of all, I’m glad that summer brings me closer to fall, which is just a step away from CHRISTMAS! 😉

Jingle Bell Rock

Wednesday, December 16th, 2009

It’s not exactly earth-shattering for me to reveal that I dig Christmas music.

So much so that I have two Christmas playlists:  Deck the Walls and Christmas up in this Bizatch.  The former is comprised of work-friendly holiday classics by Bing Crosby,The Carpenters and Harry Connick, Jr.

The latter is a smorgasbord celebrating reindeer-wrecked grandmas, famous Jews, Bandaids and Hollis hollas.

Here are the stats:

Number  “Holiday” Genre Songs in iTunes Library: 235

Time It Would Take to Play All Holiday Genre Songs: 13.3 hours.  Yes, hours.

Most Played Song: “All I Want for Christmas (Is You)” by Mariah Carey.   Glitter McCrackiefly does it best.

Least Played Song: “Little Drummer Boy” by Bing Crosby and David Bowie.  That song rumpumsucks.

Most Renditions of Same Song: “Baby, It’s Cold Outside”   I have four different versions sung by Ella Fitzgerald, Ray Charles, Steve Tyrell and Zooey Deschanel.

Sole C&W Song: “When It’s Christmas Time in Texas” by George Strait.  Screw “White Christmas.”  I’ll see a chupacabra before that happens.  George acknowledges our powder deficiency and proclaims that we’re good enough, smart enough and gosh darn it, “it might just look like a summer day.  There may not be snow in San Antonio, but it’s a Texas Christmas to me.”

Favorite Holidecade:
The 80’s.  Fer sure.   Wham!’s “Last Christmas;” The Waitresses’ “Christmas Wrapping;” The Pretenders “2000 Miles.”   Totally.

One of These Things Is Not Like the Other: “The Trouble With Love Is” by Kelly Clarkson.  The lyrics have nothing to do with the holidays, but it’s on the soundtrack to “Love Actually,” a movie best enjoyed at Christmastime.

Guiltiest Song Selection: Surprisingly, it’s not “Funky, Funky Xmas” by the New Kids on the Block.    It’s not even Debbie Gibson’s “Sleigh Ride.”   It’s…it’s …. “Grown Up Christmas List” by Amy Grant.  Yes, I admit it.  I like Amy Grant and have since 1984 .  That’s right, when she was all about Jesus jingles.  I can sing “Wise Up” and “Love Will Find a Way.”  Don’t you judge me!

Now you must excuse me. I must get my jingle on while I still can.

T minus two days until the ‘roids run out.

We Wish You a Girlie Christmas…

Tuesday, December 15th, 2009

When anyone’s asked me what I want for Christmas, my response has been “Anything off our wedding registry would be great.”    I figure that’s easiest.  Plus, it means we can further amass our collection of cooking utensils, serving items and home decorations with the hopes that, one day, we’ll throw some kickass game night parties. 😉

But, if I were being totally selfish and could ask for anything… here’s what I’d plant in Santa’s ear:

(Clockwise from Top Right…)

1. Francis! Francis! Espresso Machine (Eurocaffeine!)
2.  Slatkin & Co. Polar Bear Candle or Cookie Jar (He’s sweet.)
3.  Jonathan Adler Banana Ornament or Bud Vase (Channeling my inner banana)
4.  kate  spade Big Apple Sunglasses Ski Hat (Love these annual hats)
5.  Ballard Designs Green/Zebra Rain Boots (I know – not the cheetah. Shocking huh?)
6.  kate spade Beantown Quinn (It’s Paddingtonlicious)
7.  Nadri Tiered Chandelier Earrings (I like earrings that sparkle)
8. kate spade Perry Street Green Frames (There’s no end to my kate spade affliction)


Monday, December 14th, 2009

So I’m almost through my third day of my six day Medrol-fueled frenzy and I’m beginning to dread the withdrawal.

I got so much done today.  With it taking all I could to show up last week,  there were lots of work to-do’s needing to get did.

I immediately resumed my feverish Lysol surface wipedown, cleaned the kitchen and restocked the hand soap supply (10 for $10 at Kroger – holla!) Yes, I get excited about hand soap deals. It’s the juice running through my vei… v-words. Yes, I have issues with the word for the blood-carrying tubes that run through one’s body.  And, yet, I dig vampire movies.  Go figure.

After work, I hauled butt to Walgreens to pick up a prescription. Sixty bucks later, I had 3-for-1 candy canes, 2-for-1 red door handle bells and my Snuggielicious office white elephant gift. If the pickins are slim, I may have to steal my own gift… I mean, if I’m going to start a cult some day,  I might as well sport a leopard frock.

While I awaited Carole’s Christmas Cookie delivery, I slapped up the pre-lit porch-u-pine trees and the aforementioned 2-for-1 red door handle bells. It required a trip to Lowe’s for an outdoor extension cord. I bought an 8′ cord. Apparently I needed 9′.

But I will not rest until we have a fairly decent outdoor holiday display.

Or until the Medrol wears off.